In August 2008 my mother went into the hospital for a routine surgery. I,…… Like the amazing son I am,… forgot about it because,.. “It’s a routine surgery, they do it all the time. No big deal” I decided to go surfing with my son, friend Paul and his son. As soon as we got to the beach I received a call from my crying father. At first I thought, “no big deal, he always cries about everything”. He cries telling us bye sometimes. That’s just the way he is. I noticed this cry was different and didn’t stop. My father told me my mother was gone…
The doctors prepped my mother for surgery and gave her the proper doses of everything she needed. The surgery was to be 30 min. total. A routine surgery. I’m sure there is much more detail to include but i’m a little lost when it comes to that. Everything was ready and the doctor was just about to start when Mom went into Cardiac arrest and flat lined. One doctor tried for 45 min. to revive her and it didn’t work. The doctor came in an told my father the news. Dad called me to get me to the hospital so we could be together. I was in total disbelief and very shocked and not sure what to do. What can you do? Nothing… You can’t reverse death. I called my brother to inform him we were purchasing a ticket to fly him in the next morning to be with us. My friend Paul called his wife and a few others to start praying for our family. The doctor called his mother right then to have her start praying for our family and one of the nurses from our church who was attending at the hospital that day started praying and made a call herself. It took us 45 min to get to hospital, the same amount of time the doctor was performing CPR and it didn’t work. As I walked in with my son I didn’t know what to do, say or expect. I hugged my dad and we were both upset, helpless and lost. I was lost without my mother and dad was lost without his best friend. What do you do when your best friend of 37 years isn’t there anymore? Just then the doctor came in and told us. “I don’t know what happened but she’s back. Her heart just started again and we are trying to stabilize her!” Well, We were pretty damn happy about that! though she had been gone for a while and might have brain damage. We wouldn’t know for some time if she did and how severe it would be.
A note from the American Heart Association – Brain death and permanent death start to occur in just 4 to 6 minutes after someone experiences cardiac arrest. Cardiac arrest can be reversed if it’s treated within a few minutes with an electric shock to the heart to restore a normal heartbeat. This process is called defibrillation. A victim’s chances of survival are reduced by 7 to 10 percent with every minute that passes without CPR and defibrillation. Few attempts at resuscitation succeed after 10 minutes.
Mom was stabilized and being watched very closely. We were brought in to see her and she didn’t look so great. Here eyes were dilated and looked black and she was pretty unresponsive until the doctor yelled SUSAN! She started moving then but no-one knew if it was just the brains natural reaction or if it was her. Many things happened between that time and the next morning. Too much to type here. I could write a short book about the entire event. We walked in the next morning to a responsive Susan Stains! Wow! We still didn’t know if she was going to have brain damage or not. We all stayed by her bed and didn’t want to leave. She would wake up and take a little look around and go back to sleep. Her wrist were strapped to the bed so she didn’t hurt herself. We still didn’t know if she was all there… She was trying to move to pull at the tube going in her mouth and other things. She had no idea what happened. Eventually she shook her head yes and no to answer doctors questions and the straps came off! It took a while but we finally figured out she wanted a pen and pad to write on! She started writing and it didn’t even look like words as she looked to my Dad, brother and I to answer her questions. She kept writing and writing until we could finally see some form of letters. Finally a message appeared “What happened?” Smiles all around the room! The next few questions were, Where am I? What time is it? What day is it? She looked to be just fine.. great but still waiting to see. She kept pointing to the tube in her throat and finally wrote something else down – ANNOYING! Ha! the tube is annoying. I think at that point we knew she was ok! My mom and dad have now been married 39 years.
Wendy and I brought my mother to Maggie Valley North Carolina for the first time in her life this year. We all plan on making the most of our lives and want to quit taking it for granted. Time is short here and your family is the most important thing you will ever have. Don’t let the little annoying things in life keep you down and take up your time. Look for, and take great joy in the little things that make you happy. A smile, a kiss, the wind in you hair or on your bald head i my case! Enjoy the blessing of life everyday! Spend time with your family and take pictures often to remember the great times you have. Splurge and get some professional family pictures taken once a year to preserve the history you have. We have started the tradition of having a family picture every year. Of course it’s by me but that’s one of the perks of being a professional photographer! I know my Mother and Father as well as Wendy and I treasure the family pictures we take every year and I never want to miss a year from now on. It’s a great documentation of the family and a reminder of where you are and where you’ve come from that year.
Best Friends of 39 years. (My inspiration)
If you are wanting great family photography and don’t know where to turn, give me a call. I’ll give you some great pictures you and your family will cherish for the rest of your lives.
